When I turned 18 I moved out, right in the middle of my senior year in high school. Not that I was doing much my senior year, but there it is.

As part of my “getting comfortable as Bi Girl”, I got a job. Work work work work that’s what I did, since I was 14. When I turned 18 I had money saved up. My totally nice parents insisted in paying for my AA degree. So I ran the numbers. At the top of the list was insurance for the beater car.  Then I factored in rent, food, etc. I came out a little ahead, but secretly wondered if I could do it. I could live at home, and save money while going to school.

The problem I had with that was I had never (at the time) woken up with someone. The desire to be my own person and to sleep next to a warm body was so intense it was consuming me. Sex and going home was not doing it. I wanted more. Even if it was for one night. I wanted morning sex. Or at least morning snuggles. Hell, I would even settle for morning breath just so long as I didn’t have to come back home before dawn like an errant bad boy.

So I moved out. I found a bachelor apartment that was clean, new carpet and new paint. The problem with it was in the corner of an apartment building surrounded by trees in one corner, and bordering a wetland cum swamp on the other corner. To say it is dim would be an understatement.

But it was cheap and then it was mine, and I loved it.

Unfortunately the whole stupid “first month rent, last month rent, cleaning deposit” thing hurt. It cut into all my other budgets. I had to ride the bus to work. I gave up lattes (a habit I never started back up, saving me a major chunk of change each year), cut here cut there and I managed to squeak by without resorting to Mr. Visa.

I was doing okay until I was hit with a terrible ace of loneliness coupled with a crampy period from Hell. So I literally raided the coin jar and went to the bank to cash it up. I am going to splurge with my $33 at Whole Foods. Yes, I was going to buy something nice to eat.

Of course I run to the cheese counter. Oh my gosh, the cheese counter! At Whole Foods! Yum!

And there, was a small Gruyère Cheese Wheel. For $83. I stood there and looked at it. Yearned for it. The Cheese Guy was busy helping an old lady, so I just stood there, uninterrupted, trying to will my $33 into $83.

“Yes, I want that cheese wheel too,” says someone next to me. I startle. Standing there is a taller, older man. Well everyone was older than me at the time. He looks weathered, but he is decently dressed, in slacks and a white shirt with nice shoes. He is what, 28? 32? I don’t know. I’m not good with those things. He has blue eyes and brown hair. His voice was soft yet full of warmth.

Yes, this man is yummy.

I can’t help it. I look at his ring finger. It’s ‘empty’. He looks at me looking at his ring finger. I feel like a dork now. I am sure I am blushing. Fuck, some adult I am, huh girly? Crap.

He smiles though so I try to recover.

“I just moved so I am a frugal girl. But that wheel of Gruyère is calling to me.” Okay that wasn’t too bad. I work with people day when not in school, after all. I’m not shy.

“I’m moving soon too! I can barely afford it, but that is all I could buy.” He sounds honestly dejected.

I notice he has a hand basket with goodies. Some goodies, but not much. $83 does not go very far at Whole Foods.

He looks at me. I am dressed nice because that is what I do.

I look at him. He has gorgeous eyes, pretty white teeth. I can see something in his smiling eyes. He likes to look at me. He thinks I am pretty. He doesn’t think I’m a dork. He likes my breasts. He doesn’t think I’m a dork. He’s got a handsome look.

Then I feel that tug. That primal yank. I stand up taller, and look him in the eye.

“I’d fuck you for that cheese wheel,” I say all low and hot. Because that’s how I felt. Low and hot. No sooner than it was out of my mouth I screamed to myself WTF are you DOING JESSSIE?!?

His eyes go wide, but to his credit, only for a half a second. He drops his basket. Literally, it goes thunk on the floor.

He grabs the cheese wheel.

He grabs my hand. He pulls me after him.

“Name’s Kevin,” he grunts.

In the bread isle, I plant my feet. “Kevin, stop. I’m on my period.”

I feel like a total dork talking about my period to a stranger, even one I just declared I wanted to fuck. It was crass and stupid, but really, it was the only thing I could think of to slow down the hormone train screaming down the mountainside.

He snorts. Actually snorts. “Bah! You think that’s gonna stop me from having cheese wheel sex with the hottest perky leggy skirted nice ass number I have seen in this store, ever?“

OMG OMG OMG is all I can think.

He continues to yank me back to the checkout line.

I do not protest.                                                                   

I may be a young little slut, but I am far from stupid when it counts.

And now, I have cheese…