I love my parents. I moved out when I was eighteen and never looked back, but really, I love my parents. My older brother, however, moved out way before I did.

He left me with the job of teaching Mom and Dad (insert ominous music here)… computers.

Okies, I am not a big computer expert. I can text with the rest of the emos. I can do email. All the other stuff like blogging is a struggle but I manage. I was able to turn my blog PINK all by myself.

PINK! PINK PINK PIIIIINNNNNKKKK!

Sorry.

My parents shared this stupid AOL email account. Despite my best efforts, she just would not get her own account with her own name. I just really got tired of not knowing who was reading my mail first. Not that I was saying anything worth hiding. Email is bad enough as it is, yanno? I am more than capable of emailing TWO people at once.

So, I like, sent this email:

Subject: Sperm

Hey Mom, is it me or does old guy sperm start tasting bland, yanno, just salty with that slimy texture?

Then the next day:

Subject: Absorption

I think I need to change my tampon brand. This one just doesn’t seem to cut it on day three. Or did you change tampon brands/type just for that day? And what is it with day 3 anyway? Is that the magical must hemorrhage day?

Yup, Mom got her own email.